OK. So my best friend urged me to write today. She feels it will help me a lot understanding my own turmoil. & I realized this was the very reason I started this blog and how much it helped me when I was down. The thoughts and opinions shared with people from various parts of the world taught me things I wouldn't have learnt otherwise.
Back to the conversation I was having with my friend, it kinda revolved around how we have certain expectations from people close to us & whether its right or not. If you give yourself completely to any relation, you do expect the other person to atleast give a little consideration to that. It hurts a lot when they act completely oblivious to how you feel. A relation is a two way street. You share everything. Whether its your happiness, sorrow, time, mood swings, decisions, just about everything. But it doesn't look like its possible in most cases. Its always one party who is way too much involved than the other. Seems like a God's joke on maintaining equilibrium in the universe.
Its so painful to know that someone you cared about the most is the one who hurts you the most. Probably thats the irony of life. I know we are supposed to just give and not think about receiving. But cm'on who does not want love, affection and attention in life. Especially from the people you love. I am not going to be hypocrite to deny that I don't want all of that. If I am giving you my time, I expect you to give me yours when I need it. If I am loving you with all my heart I expect you to love me back. Call me selfish, but thats the last thing that will bother me.
I don't think I can change that about myself and won't even try. But I can try to just be there for someone who's worth it.
Love,
Raey
